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Aftermath May 18, 2012

Posted by w2lj in Uncategorized.
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This has been a hard week.

My Mom’s funeral was today.  It was beautiful.

My head and heart know that Mom is in Good Hands.  She’s either in Heaven; or if she’s in Purgatory, I am trusting that it wouldn’t be for long due to the mental and physical suffering that she endured throughout her lifetime – starting when she was very young.

But even knowing, trusting and believing in that without nary a doubt doesn’t even begin to fill the emptiness I am feeling. The week was busy and I was occupied. Now it’s all over and all I feel is ….. numbness.

I have to stop myself  from dialing her number and calling  just to ask how she is.  My wife had to go into work this afternoon. I am really yearning for her presence right now.

We drove past our old house on the way home; and I had a pang of anxiety, thinking how much worse it would be if I was still single and had to go to back to that house to live alone. Silly, I know, as it isn’t the case, yet for a moment the fear felt so real.

I am also pained that a cousin that I was very close to before I got married, completely ignored the event and didn’t even acknowledge my e-mails to him and my sister’s telephone call.  My Mom was concerned for him , to the point that she would always ask about him.  I realize that he is fighting his own demons; and I wish him the best; but it would have been nice, even if he just shown for the funeral Mass.

Please join me in offering prayers for him as well as my Mom.

J+M+J

Mom is gone May 15, 2012

Posted by w2lj in Uncategorized.
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My Mom passed into Eternal Life last night.

I am sad and heart broken to the point that it’s hard to bear.  The prayers and thoughts of my relatives and friends, and my beautiful wife Marianne and our two children Joey and Cara are the only things holding me together at this point. Other wise, I would be a blubbering basket case (which would have really tic’ed my Mom off).

Needless to say, my Mom and I were very close.  She is most responsible for the way I turned out. She was my mom, my teacher and my friend.

She did not have an easy life. She was easily hurt by the thoughtlessness of others – sometimes, even by my own thoughtlessness.  She suffered many physical pains in her last years and throughout her life, as long as I can remember, she suffered from what we now know is depression.

She was steadfast in her Catholic Faith, however.  We would bolster each other, whenever we felt the need.  I am fervently praying that the physical and mental pain that she suffered here on Earth, negates or greatly diminishes any time spent in purgatory (I’m also a realist – my Mom was wonderful, but she had her faults, too).

It is my deepest hope that last night, when she passed at 8:35 PM, that she was immediately embraced by Jesus, and I am soooooooooo hoping that He said, “Job well done, my good and faithful daughter!”

J+M+J