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Aftermath May 18, 2012

Posted by w2lj in Uncategorized.
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This has been a hard week.

My Mom’s funeral was today.  It was beautiful.

My head and heart know that Mom is in Good Hands.  She’s either in Heaven; or if she’s in Purgatory, I am trusting that it wouldn’t be for long due to the mental and physical suffering that she endured throughout her lifetime – starting when she was very young.

But even knowing, trusting and believing in that without nary a doubt doesn’t even begin to fill the emptiness I am feeling. The week was busy and I was occupied. Now it’s all over and all I feel is ….. numbness.

I have to stop myself  from dialing her number and calling  just to ask how she is.  My wife had to go into work this afternoon. I am really yearning for her presence right now.

We drove past our old house on the way home; and I had a pang of anxiety, thinking how much worse it would be if I was still single and had to go to back to that house to live alone. Silly, I know, as it isn’t the case, yet for a moment the fear felt so real.

I am also pained that a cousin that I was very close to before I got married, completely ignored the event and didn’t even acknowledge my e-mails to him and my sister’s telephone call.  My Mom was concerned for him , to the point that she would always ask about him.  I realize that he is fighting his own demons; and I wish him the best; but it would have been nice, even if he just shown for the funeral Mass.

Please join me in offering prayers for him as well as my Mom.

J+M+J

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